Non-Jews are for practice
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
