I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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