The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
