We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
