new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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