then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
