Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
