she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
