In the future we'll all be gay
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
