EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize