we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My hand turned me down
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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