I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
