My liver just broke up with me...
Too much gin, very little bucket
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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