so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
