I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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