Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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