If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize