im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
