listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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