I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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