My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
