her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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