Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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