I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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