We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
