so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
