Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
