fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize