Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
