I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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