just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
