I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
