I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
