Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
