I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I think people are normalizing furries
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
