would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
im holly from the hills drunk
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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