Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
