no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
