I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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