she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
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Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
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Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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