So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
