some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
