I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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