what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
