I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
