It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
