Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
