I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
