Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize