When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
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I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
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I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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