highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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