I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
