Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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