What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
