Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
