she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
