I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
