What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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