And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
