You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
