If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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