there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
