nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
